Postpartum With Twins | How to Prepare for the Newborn Stage

Ceridwen

Welcome back to the Postpartum Prep Podcast. My name is Ceridwen, I'm your podcast host and your guide to preparing for a smoother start to life with your new baby. Here on the Postpartum Prep Podcast, we talk about all things preparing for life after birth, baby sleep, feeding your baby, postpartum recovery, all the things.

And today we have Alaina coming to do a Q&A with us about preparing for postpartum with twins. Alaina is the mother and voice behind Nurturing Twins, a community supporting and resourcing twin mothers to prioritize attachment with their babies. Welcome to our Q&A episode, Alaina.

Alaina

Thank you so much.

Ceridwen

For anyone listening, we just recorded a full episode, a whole conversation about nurturing twins and raising twin babies. So you can head on over to that episode after this Q&A for a longer discussion. But for now, we'll get into the first question for the Q&A.

Our first question is, are there any essential items that you recommend to have on hand before giving birth to twins?

Alaina

Yes, I loved having a couple of different twin breastfeeding pillows. I know that some people feel that they don't need a breastfeeding pillow at all. For me, it was really helpful to have options.

And so I loved the twinsie pillow. It's also really helpful to have for, it's sort of like having like two boppy pillows connected and you can buckle the bottom of it so that when they're very young, you can prop them in it safely. I know people who've used it for bottle feeding safely or truly just for setting your babies up.

We used it a lot for tummy time as well. But it's great because you can lift the middle arm, I guess, call it an arm, and buckle it around yourself to be able to hold both babies. If I still had it, I would show you.

But to be able to hold both babies and nurse them well, I loved using that, especially for overnight feeds because of having the extra back support. Now I still would end up, especially when they're very young, would probably utilize one to two other pillows underneath that feeding pillow, just so you get the proper fit and you're not hunched over, but in fact, bringing babies to breast. But I found that pillow and the My Breast Friend twin pillow was the other one that I had.

And I loved that one as well, because again, it buckled around me, just was like a big shelf in front of me, which was fantastic for contact naps, because I would end up sitting down. I also had a little pocket on the side, which was fun. I would stick my phone in it, a couple little snacks, and then haul us over to the couch with that.

And it was great for being able to, I felt like I was able to support them up. It has a little lip around the edge too, so they're less likely to roll off. And I liked that one for daytime naps and feeding, and I found it incredibly helpful even just for bringing in the car as well.

Ceridwen

Awesome. So the main items that you recommend are twin breastfeeding pillows?

Alaina

Yeah, I would say twin specific items, yes, would be twin breastfeeding pillows. And for mom, I would say, make sure that you have a meal train of some variety. Make sure that you have comfy, big, stretchy clothes that feel really good for your body.

I really liked using the organic disposable underwear for postpartum, just to help with having less things to clean up, less things to manage.

Ceridwen

Awesome. Thank you. I think those are all essential items that I would totally agree with.

Obviously, I've never gone through postpartum with twins, but they all seem very practical. And I love how you also bring in elements of support being an essential item too, because I think sometimes that's something we can really easily overlook in our postpartum preparation is the importance of preparing your support network. And especially for meals, postpartum is not just about having a baby, it's also about nurturing yourself through postpartum and that experience of becoming a mother.

So I love that you mentioned that too. Our second question is, how do you cope with postpartum with twins without becoming overwhelmed? Is it even possible?

Alaina

I think that's a great question. Ultimately, it comes down to your mindset. And I want you first to give yourself as much grace as possible because the hormone shift is massive early postpartum.

And I can't just imagine, I know from real life that it's even more drastic when you've had two babies. And so presume that you will be having a hard time initially. I think if we set our expectation that things will be hard, not necessarily saying, oh, I'm going to be a disaster, but rather, how can I ready myself and my circle for me to be in a place of intense need and not have all the answers?

Because you will be a fresh mother, as fresh as your babies are, you will be fresh and new and remade through your birth, right? And so you have to give yourself as much grace as possible. And also, like, let's build out as much resourcing as possible to minimize the overwhelm.

Two babies will be crying at once, and that is going to be a lot on your body, on your mind, on everything. But how can we minimize the stress so that you're not overwhelmed, that you're just at capacity, right?

Ceridwen

I think we were just chatting before we had recorded this episode about how do we talk about the reality that postpartum is not always super easy. And I think, how do we do that without worrying pregnant moms? But at the same time, one of the most common things, I don't know if it might be the same for you, but one of the most common things I hear is like, why did no one tell me about this?

Because it actually does end up being a lot. It's more intense than we're told that it will be. And I think the best way to be prepared for that is to be prepared that like, okay, it's going to be intense.

And how do we actually just make sure that you're held through that, rather than just like, it's intense and you had no preparation for it and no chance to actually gather your community. And I think I love how you answered that question. Our last question today is, how did you or how can you prepare for postpartum well when facing potential birth complications and a potential NICU stay?

Alaina

Yeah, I think that, again, if you go into it, I felt like I went into it a little bit too naive. I was so certain we're not going to go through any of that. Like I have my plan.

It is going to be good and beautiful and wholesome and at home, it's going to be fine. And then that didn't happen. So in some ways I had prepared myself and my circle for what postpartum was going to look like.

That, you know, I had a meal train set up. I had, you know, people who were ready and willing to show up and help me when needed. And when that was thrust into, we're in the NICU now, and things, you know, were very, very different than we anticipated, that had to pivot.

And so having, I think, having just some close connections around you, you can facilitate that during pregnancy if you don't already have that. But just building some connections with people who you can see and be seen by and asking for specific things. I asked for soup.

I asked for, you know, like pot roasts. I asked for like household help, like washing dishes and laundry was never going to be me postpartum. And so asking for those specific things and then letting people come and help you, letting people into your space when you are vulnerable is incredibly hard to do.

And it's essential when you're in that position. I was not, I did not allow myself to be supported the way that I could have when we were in the NICU because it was, I felt like I was living a nightmare and I simply couldn't verbalize what we were going through. But I have since grown from that and also supported other mothers who are navigating similar circumstances.

And I'm like, tell people you need DoorDash gift cards. Tell people you need, you know, like leftovers brought to the hospital in a Tupperware so that you can sit and pump next to your babies. Like tell people what you need.

Think about if your friend, if your sister was going through this, what would you lavish upon her? How can you write that down and tell somebody that's what I need if you're in that situation? I would say like preparing yourself for hard things doesn't necessarily, it's not like, I feel like when I was pregnant, I felt like it would be a curse if I like even read about what it would be like if we went into the NICU or something like that, or if I had a C-section or whatever.

Instead like understanding these are realities of life. These are possibilities. And that is not necessarily going to mean that you will not be able to be supported, but rather that you have to get creative and specific about the kind of support that you need.

Ceridwen

Sometimes it starts with identifying, not even, you know, I love that you give the example of a DoorDash gift card because I feel like that's something that's super, sometimes it even takes off if it's just like you can just order what you need and you don't have to coordinate with people about pickups and drop-offs and stuff. Like that's such a good example. But in order to even do that, first you have to identify the need that like as a human being you need to eat.

And I think sometimes like that even in itself can be like one of the biggest challenges of motherhood in general. Like even when things are, even when there's not like birth complications in NICU, it's still really easy in motherhood just to not recognize our own needs that we need.

Alaina

And I know it's so funny we hold ourselves to these standards where like if you think about the Maslow's hierarchy of needs, we're like expecting self-actualization and like co-regulating our baby's behaviors and all these different things when we're like not even meeting the foundational needs for ourselves. Like food, water, sleep, safety. We have to meet those needs first.

And when you are thrown into a traumatic situation, it feels like everything goes out the window. And of course, as a mother, you feel so protective and I just need to give, give, give, give everything I can to my babies. You also cannot give without receiving.

So yeah, I had a friend recently navigate a difficult birth and NICU experience and, you know, DoorDash gift cards, instant gift cards, you know, if you have something, a service like that where you can literally just get groceries delivered to you, like things like that were the practical tools that they needed in order to be able to survive that experience and come out from it, not jaded and wounded and depleted, but actually like supported.

Ceridwen

Yeah. Well, thank you so much for answering these questions today. That's all the questions that we had for you today.

But before we end this episode, would you please let us know if we want, if anyone listening wants to connect with you or learn more about you or work with you, kind of what do you offer and where can they find you?

Alaina

Yeah, absolutely. I am at nurturing twins on Instagram and you can find me on Facebook under the same name as well. Nurturing twins.com is, has all of my offerings, but the biggest offering is the village. I know that we talk a lot about how we need the village and how the village doesn't exist. And in the absence of a physical village, I have brought you a virtual twin mother village. It's a community meant to really hold and support mothers who are navigating twin motherhood from a place of attachment and connection.

And so we have tons of resources that are constantly adding to and updated and yeah, that's, that's where you should find me. Nurturing twins.com. We have that on there.

You can join the village membership. I also have an embracing infancy transformation coming up soon where we will be discussing in depth and working one-to-one as well as in a small group setting on navigating the shift of matricence in the context of twin motherhood and how we can move from just surviving into truly enjoying, savoring, embracing their infancy in our motherhood. So I hope you will.

Ceridwen

Wow. That sounds amazing. Thank you.

Thank you for sharing with us about that. And I hope everyone will go check you out, especially in the twin moms, but even if you're not a twin mom, to be honest, like I benefit so much from, I'm not a twin mom, but I, I, I, I feel inspired and uplifted by your posts, um, as just like a mom who prioritizes connection in my mother.

Alaina

So much of what I share is not like there is some stuff that is very twin specific, but a lot of it is just realities that I feel become heightened when there's more babies at stake, but, um, the realities are the same no matter what.

Ceridwen

Absolutely. Yeah. Um, so thank you and thank you all for listening today.

Be sure to tune in to our main episode that we recorded for a deep dive into all things twins. And if you're watching on YouTube, please be sure to subscribe so you don't miss a video and leave a comment letting us know how you're preparing for postpartum. And especially if you have already prepared for postpartum and especially if you've already prepared for postpartum with twins, please leave us all your advice.

And if you're listening as a podcast, then be sure you're subscribed. And if you want to support the podcast, I was, I would really, really appreciate if you could take a moment to leave a review. It really helps the podcast.

Also a heads up that for these Q and A episodes, I always share upcoming Q and A topics in my weekly email newsletter. So you're able to know what the Q and A topics will be, and you can submit questions for future Q and A's. So be sure if the easiest way to subscribe to my email newsletter is by downloading my free postpartum prep checklist.

And then you'll also be added to my weekly email newsletter list. Um, so all of that will be in the episode description before you go, please share this episode with another pregnant or postpartum mama who would benefit from the episode, especially if you know any twin moms, um, who would benefit. Thank you so much for listening.

And thank you again, Alaina, so much for joining us today and in our previous episode that we had just recorded. And I hope, I hope maybe we can have you back on again soon.