The 4 Types of Postpartum Prep Every Pregnant Mama Should Know

Welcome back to the Postpartum Prep Podcast. I'm Ceridwen, your podcast host and your guide to preparing for life after birth. Today I'm going to be talking about four types of postpartum prep.

These are four ways that you can prepare for life after birth, and I'm gonna jump straight into the first type of postpartum prep, which is practical preparation. This is what most people think of when they think of preparing for life after birth. Practical prep includes things like making sure you have all the equipment you'll need for your baby, making sure that your home is set up, making sure that you have things like postpartum recovery items - your postpartum essentials.

If you go back to episode 8, I gave a list of postpartum essentials in that episode. Gathering those supplies - that's what I mean by practical preparation for life after birth.

The other practical area to focus on would be preparing meals for after birth. Not everyone prepares meals for after birth, but a lot of people do like to prepare freezer meals. Nowadays, I think a lot of people tend to just use meal delivery services, but if you're someone who likes to prioritize home-cooked foods, or you have any specific foods that you know you want to prioritize during the postpartum period to support your healing, then freezing meals - or at least making sure you have all the ingredients, getting your pantry staples - rhat's all gonna fall under your practical prep.

I find that when it comes to postpartum prep, practical prep tends to be for most people. They are generally aware we need to get all the stuff for baby, we might need to freeze some meals - and nowadays it's definitely becoming more common also to think about any supplies you might need for postpartum recovery.

And this is often what you'll see on the internet. You'll see lots of lists of different freezer meal ideas, lots of lists of postpartum essentials, postpartum recovery applies, lots of checklists for everything that you need to buy for baby. And while all of this is super important, that's not where it ends when it comes to postpartum prep.

There are three other really key areas that nobody seems to talk about. The second type of postpartum prep is building your village. Now I've talked about building your village a lot recently in previous episodes, especially in episode 11 and 12 which are the two previous episodes before this one.

And I also include some resources when it comes to building your village in my free postpartum prep pitfalls guide. So I'm not going to go too much into detail on this one in this episode, but I would encourage you to go back to episode 11 and episode 12. Episode 12 is about how to plan for postpartum visitors and help after birth. And episode 11 was about mistakes to avoid when it comes to planning for life after birth. And one of those mistakes is about not having enough support. So when you're done listening to this episode, go back and listen to those ones.

But for now, just know that building your village is a really essential type of postpartum prep. It doesn't have to look like having loads and loads of people come visit you all the time. It can look like having boundaries. It can look like having shared expectations. It can look like not having to host people, but actually just having them there to support you. And you'll learn all about that when you go back and listen to the previous two episodes.

For the third type of postpartum prep I want to talk about today, it is setting realistic expectations. Now this one, it really is centered around learning. And I'll go through a few key areas of learning to do before birth.

But I just want to say - there is a lot of research that emphasizes the importance of having realistic expectations about life after birth. It can support everything from your mental health, to your relationship, to breastfeeding, and just the general adjustment to life after birth. Obviously, I believe it's also really important for helping you to prepare for life after birth.

And that's exactly what the Postpartum Prep Podcast is all about. We're all about setting realistic expectations that help you to actually understand what life after birth might really be like, so you can really prepare as much as you can beforehand to set yourself up for a smoother transition. Because you'll really understand what to expect after birth, which makes it easier to understand what preparations you might need to make.

I remember I used to say when I was pregnant that you can never be fully prepared because you just don't know what to expect. And it's true, you might not be able to completely understand what to expect, but even if you are trying to learn what to really expect after birth, there's also so many unrealistic expectations that we as a society hold about what that time after birth really looks like. Things you see on Instagram where it's these beautiful calm, cozy scenes of moms and their babies, but we forget that what we're seeing is the highlight reel.

And this can make it really confusing for us when we have these unrealistic expectations of what life after birth is really gonna be like, then we get there, it's not what we expected, and it's really confusing and can even be quite upsetting if the reality is much different from what we thought it would be like. That doesn't mean to say you can't have those nice cozy moments with your baby. And of course, like I said here on the podcast, that's my goal, that's what I'm trying to help you be more prepared for, so that you'll have more of those nice calm cozy moments with your baby and less of the stress.

So a few key areas to have realistic expectations about when it comes to life after birth. First is breastfeeding. There's often this unrealistic expectation that breastfeeding is just completely natural, completely easy for everyone, but the reality is, sometimes breastfeeding can come with a learning curve.

And that's why it's so important to have that village around you to know who you're going to reach out to if you need lactation support. The other unrealistic expectation when it comes to breastfeeding, it's not so much that we have an unrealistic expectation, but it's more that we simply don't realize how often babies actually feed after birth. One of the most common things I hear from new breastfeeding moms is that they just had no idea how much babies really feed.

It does, it takes up a lot of time in the day. And that's, again, it's why support is so important. Support will be important for making sure that you have practical help while you're sitting on the sofa or in the bed all day breastfeeding your baby, that you'll have practical support with things like cooking or cleaning.

But support is also really important if you are struggling with breastfeeding, if you are finding that learning curve more difficult than you expected, you're going to want lactation support as soon as possible because you're going to be feeding your baby a lot and you want to be making it as easy as possible for you right from the start. And having lactation support can just make that learning curve so much faster. Another key area to set realistic expectations in is when it comes to sleep.

Of course we understand that after birth we might be sleeping less than normal. We all know that having a baby can be disruptive to your sleep. But I want to read this quote to you from a real mom.

She says, I knew I'd be tired, but what that actually does to a person is very, very different. And I think we don't always have a realistic expectation of how we're actually going to feel when we're so tired. I often hear moms who they have a lot of plans after birth, they want to do all these special things with their baby, but then the reality of how it feels to be sleep deprived hits.

And your sleep really does become the number one priority. While you're in, especially in this newborn stage, you're going to want to prioritize your rest as much as possible. And remember how I said that setting realistic expectations helps us to prepare and plan more easily for life after birth.

So just, just keeping in mind when you are planning for life after birth, to have this realistic expectation that you're probably going to feel very tired and you're gonna, and you're going to want to prioritize your sleep as much as possible. And so a lot of your planning and a lot of your preparation is going to be centered around helping you to get as much sleep as possible. I probably should do another episode going into that in way more detail.

So stay tuned. But for now, I want to move on to the other unrealistic expectation people have about sleep, which is that babies will just sleep in their crib and be happy to sleep in their crib. The reality is, babies are designed to be in near constant contact with their caregivers, especially with their mother.

And most babies are not going to want to sleep alone. There's of course always the exceptions to the rule, but for the most part, babies want to be close to their caregivers. And a lot of people can find this really confusing after birth and sometimes even concerning.

They're, they say, my baby just never wants to be put down. I'm worried about holding my baby too much. I'm worried about spoiling my baby.

I'm worried that they're gonna get used to being held so much. And the reality is, it's not that you're doing anything wrong. It's not that your baby is asking for more than you should be giving them.

The reality is, this is just what babies are wired for. And when we have that more realistic expectation, it just lifts off some of the concern and confusion that we have when babies act like babies.

This is editing Ceridwen here, just popping in to add - this is part of why I always recommend, even if you don't plan to bed share, I always recommend before you give birth, you do learn about bed sharing safety guidelines.

And this is exactly why, because you can have all the intention in the world of not bed sharing, but if your baby only wants to sleep while being held, it can be really hard to avoid it. And so the best thing to do is just know the safety guidelines. If you have absolutely no intention of using them, if you don't ever use them, then it's better that you knew them and didn't use them, than to risk unintentionally bed sharing in a space that's not set up, that's in a space that's not set up for safe bed sharing.

So some resources to do this, the easiest place to go is Safe Sleep 7, that's by La Leche League. And it talks about just the key points that you need to know to practice safer bed sharing. The last area of realistic expectations that I just wanted to touch on is setting realistic expectations when it comes to your relationship.

Nobody seems to talk about this enough, but having a baby really can impact your relationship. You're going, especially if it's your first baby, you're going from this couple to a family. And the shift from couple life to family life can feel like quite a big change for many couples.

And it's okay to have some big feelings about that. Some people even feel quite a bit of grief for the level of change in their relationship after having a baby. As a reminder, some level of grief can be an absolutely normal emotion to have.

But I always like to say, if your emotions are feeling difficult to cope with, or they're just going on for a really long time, and you're kind of ready to move on from these more uncomfortable feelings, you can always seek mental health support. And in fact, I encourage it, especially if it's ongoing, and it's really impacting your everyday life. But like I said, some level of grief or sadness for the relationship that you had before that's now changed can be really normal.

I'll also say, as a mom who is two and a half years into motherhood now, the way your relationship is in the beginning after birth is not how it's going to be forever. I say this from personal experience, but also I've heard this from other people. And that makes sense, right? All the focus in the early weeks and months and even the early year or two is really on that baby because they just, they just do take a lot of attention and time.

And there will just be less time for you and your partner to spend as a couple, especially like I said, if this is your first baby, you're going from maybe even every single night, you get a few hours together in the evening. Once you have a baby, and especially while you're in that stage of really prioritizing sleep over everything else, you're probably not getting all that time together just as the two of you that you're used to. But as time goes on, it will come back eventually, whether that's just because your baby's gotten older, or it's because just with time and experience and practice, you figure out how to get that quality time together just as a couple that you need.

The other area where there can be some unrealistic expectations when it comes to your relationship after birth is the idea that everything's going to be equal. I know that most couples, especially in modern life, couples really want everything to be equal, everything to be shared between the parents. But the reality is, there's almost always going to be more work on the mother, whether that's because you're breastfeeding, whether that's because you're the preferred parent for your baby, because they've just already, they're born with this bond and attachment to you - there often is just more on the mother.

But I do encourage you, in your conversations in your partnership before you give birth, this is all the more reason to start thinking through - where are there ways that we can really start to rebalance the load? Beyond just sharing baby care responsibilities, this can go to the cooking and the cleaning. It can even go to things like the mental load, which moms carry in terms of keeping all these lists in their heads, all these appointments that you need to book, all these things that you need to remember about your baby, all the learning that goes into learning how to take care of a baby, all the preparation that you're probably doing before birth, listening to these podcasts.

If you're listening to these podcasts, why not also send it to your husband? So they can take on some of this mental load of preparing for a baby and of mentally understanding what life after birth might look like and having information in their own minds about how to take care of a baby and how to take care of you after giving birth. I definitely want to do a whole other podcast episode that's specifically for dads - so keep an eye out for that one.

So, we've talked about setting realistic expectations when it comes to breastfeeding, when it comes to sleep, when it comes to your relationship. These are just a few areas - but I hope you can just see how understanding more realistically what life after birth might look like can help you to not only find it easier while you're in it, because you'll be less confused and just have more understanding about what's going on, but it also allows you while you're still pregnant to really visualize more of what you might expect after birth, and how you can start preparing for it now and planning for it and anything that you might need to set up in place now while you're pregnant to help it be a smoother transition after birth. And when it comes to preparing for life after birth, so far we've covered three types of ways to prepare. We've covered practical preparation, we've covered building your village and we've covered setting realistic expectations.

The fourth way that you can prepare for postpartum is mindset work. If you are preparing for birth, I'm sure you will have heard it before, people talk about how birth is a "mental game", especially if you're going for an unmedicated birth, that preparing for birth is a lot about preparing your mindset. Things like mindset when it comes to pain, mindset when it comes to... even just having affirmations to help you through.

The same thing applies to life after birth. So for example when it comes to mindset work for postpartum that might look like self-reflection. You might do some mindset work around how you feel about being supported and your relationship with rest.

It might look like mindset work around perfectionism, and knowing that motherhood is not something that we can do perfectly, and maybe developing some self-compassion around that. Mindset work also might look like preparing your nervous system. Do you know how to connect to a state of peace and calm in your body even when life around you feels completely chaotic? Also do you have emotional support prepared for the moments when you really just need to be held? Whether that looks like friends or family who can come to support you and that can also look like knowing what professional support is available to you if you wanted perhaps therapy or counseling to help you work through emotions.

I would say setting realistic expectations is also a part of mindset work, because that's part of thinking through, okay, if things are maybe not going to be always 100% of the time a blissful happy experience, in the times where it feels more difficult, what inner strengths do I have? What kinds of thoughts and beliefs do I have that can help me to cope better mentally with those difficult situations? Something I've been thinking a lot about recently is how when we have unrealistic expectations, or when we have all this information on social media telling us all this conflicting advice about our babies, when we start to experience a difficult moment with our baby and we might start to feel something like worry or frustration, then all this extra information that we've been reading online all these conflicting thoughts they can all come into our mind, and start to send our mind spiraling. And what started as maybe annoyance or frustration or worry about one little moment with your baby turns into this spiraling worry, or this spiraling frustration. And of course, there are some things that are genuinely worrying situations, genuinely frustrating situations. But there's also ways that we can end up making it worse for ourselves, or we're not even making it worse for ourselves, but it's that overload of information and that overload of outside noise that sends our mind spiraling. And so maybe part of mindset work is learning how to tune in to your own inner knowing or tune in to the present moment and just focus on what's going on right in the moment. Bringing in mindfulness again.

If you are finding that your thoughts are regularly spiraling, if you're feeling worried a lot of the time or most of the time, if you're feeling frustrated a lot more, if you're feeling anger a lot more than often - these can also all be signs that you might benefit from mental health support. I don't want to make it sound like I'm saying these are all things that are within your control, and it's all your fault if your thoughts are spiraling. I want you to know that it is not your fault, and that support is there for you if this is something you're struggling with.

When it comes to mindset prep, I'd also say, going back to your relationship, is there mindset prep you can do as a couple? For example, thinking about how might you cope as a couple if things feel hard - is there mindset prep of grounding yourself in your intentions to work together as a team that you could do together? Or mindset prep that this is a season of life? I mean, in general, I think there's a mindset prep for new parents - regardless of whether you're in a couple - but in general, a mindset prep of knowing that this is going to just be a season of your life - whether for better or for worse - this is just going to be a season of your life. Whether you feel glad that this will just be a season to get through, or whether you feel some sadness about how quickly the newborn season is going through, holding space for whatever you're feeling about it being a season.

Mindset work can also be about just generally holding an openness and a flexibility and a curiosity about what this transition to birth actually is like. Mindset work could also look like speaking with a therapist, and actually processing out loud what this transition is has been like for you, and what your what new experiences you're having in this transition, and how they might be impacting or changing the way that you feel about yourself, or your partner, or the world, or your baby, and motherhood. And maybe that doesn't even have to be with a therapist - you could even do that in a journal. And that can actually be really sweet, because you can look back at this journal and see how you were feeling during this time in your life as you were about to embark on this new journey with your baby.

In case you didn't know, all of the episodes in the podcast I also share on my website as blog posts. So if you go to motherbabywellbeing.com/episode/13 (because this is episode number 13) you can find all of the mindset work that I've just mentioned. It will be written out there for you, so if you want to kind of recap everything I just mentioned when it comes to mindset work - do a little journaling session - you can use the mindset work that I just mentioned. You can use it almost like journal prompts, and there will - like I said - they'll all be on that blog post on my website for episode number 13.

And we have come now to the end of the episode! I hope you found this episode helpful today talking about the four types of postpartum prep: practical preparation, building your village, setting realistic expectations, and the mindset work of postpartum prep. If you have any questions at all, feel free to send me a DM on Instagram. Otherwise, make sure that you're subscribed to the show so you get future episodes.

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Thank you so much for listening today. Thank you so much for your support, and I will see you in the next episode!